I Can't Help But Fall In Love!
by Miss Hetalian
Summary: Tired of being called a prude, Roderich wants to get revenge on his ex-boyfriend, Ludwig. How will he do it? He asks 3 Casanovas of World Academy, to help him get his ex crawling back to him. But along the way, he realized he starts falling for one of them. Will Roderich fall for any of the Casanovas? Or is he still desperate to have Ludwig back into his life?
1. Prologue

I'm tired of being called a prude.

I'm tired of not having a decent boyfriend.

Yes, call me gay, but does it look like I care?

Apparently not.

All I want, is a lesson.

A lesson on how to love.

But for some reason, my body isn't open to the idea. Neither is my heart.

But with a little help, will everything change?

Will that one, simple kiss change my entire life?


	2. Chapter 1

Roderich

Okay, world history. So not my thing. If I'd let this pesky teacher keep on babbling for another hour, I'd risk my life just to jump off the talles building here in Los Angeles. Someone save me! It feels like I've been stuck in this class forever... ugh.

I glanced at my wristwatch. Just a few more freaking minutes, and I'd be free already. I'd be meeting my boyfriend, and soon, everything will be okay again. At the thought of my boyfriend, I started wondering what he saw in me. I'm one of the nerdiest people in the school, and he's like, the student council president, leader of the football team, and president of the newspaper club, and a bunch of other roles you don't even want to bother knowing. I think I was just lucky.

Or there was something good I did in my life, and he was the reward I was waiting for. To be honest, I can be prissy sometimes. I am an aristocrat afterall. I had amethyst eyes, and somewhat wavy dark brown hair. I am standing at 5'9'', definitely skinny, and fair-skinned. I am Austrian afterall.

He sure was one of the most attractive guys at school. Ludwig always had his blonde hair slipped back, always making sure no strand of hair was sticking out. And his eyes, they were truly irresistible. Just one look into them, you'll get lost. He didn't usually smile though, that's turn-off. But when he did, he would be extremely adorable. Also, we were like polar opposites; No wonder we'd even gotten together.

Must be my wit and intelligence. Also the fact that I could play almost any musical instrument there is, could be an attribute. I was quite plain, until I wore my glasses. They make me look _less_ plain. that was probably it. Might be because I was one of the top students. But I never got the top spot, though. It would always be that Eduard von Bock guy... what ever his name was.

Other useless thoughts ran into my mind until someone pinched me on the cheek. I was about to give the idiot a piece of my mind, but then I realized it was actually my best friend, Elizaveta.

"Earth to Roderich, earth to Roderich!" she whispered, trying to not get the attention of our annoying teacher. "What the heck is wrong with you? You're spacing out again! Don't tell me you're thinking of Ludwig again, aren't you?"

"N-no I wasn't! I was just thinking about music, that's all...: Ouch, okay she's right. I've been spacing out lately like this ever since Ludwig became my boyfriend. "Because," she whispered, "if I didn't do that, you might have wandered of to Neverland already! Mind you, we're still in class!"

"What?" Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

She stared me down, sighed, and shook her head. "You know, just forget we ever talked."

"Well, I'm sorry if I wasn't paying attention! I was just thinking about my boyfriend!" Oh shoot. I really, really regret saying that now. God I hate myself. Someone really shoot me now please.

Elizaveta shrugged. "You'd better watch it, Roderich. Don't even make him notice you're really clingy to him."

"Whatever. I think you're just jealous because my boyfriend is the most popular student in the campus."

Whatever Elizaveta was going to tell me next was interrupted. The bell rang, and I was out of my seat even before lighting stuck the ground. Or even before she could blink, there, that's better. I scanned the hallway for Ludwig, and I found him a few moments later, coming out from the student council room, sighing, his backpack slinging on his left shoulder.

"Hi, Ludwig." I said, in my usual voice. Well, my usual voice sounds like it's on the verge of humming and singing. Well, I am a musician after all. That was to be expected. "I missed you."

Ludwig winced a bit, and asked "Missed me? Why would you miss me when we were together a couple hours ago?" I pouted, nonetheless. It was my personality afterall. I pecked him on the cheek, and started leading him towards the cafeteria. And if it were my imagination, I thought I saw him wipe his cheek. Maybe it was just a trick of the light. Can't do anything about that, can we?

We ate lunch together at the cafeteria, and also hung out a little. We talked about random things, and it ended up with the two of us arguing if this musician is either Austrian or German. But along the way I noticed he got a little bored with me. It's not really his personality. Goodness. I decided to stop talking altoghter and waited. He wasn't talking either. Weird.

After a few moments of silence, he stood up, and eventually I did to, and we were already heading towards the exit. "Let's go," he said. "I'll be taking you home."

"Already?" I asked, pouting.

"Yeah." he said, casually. God, what's wrong with him today? I shrugged, slinging my backpack on my shoulder, and followed him to his car. The drive back to my apartment was arduous, and even weirder actually. He was too lost in his own thoughts, and I was just there in my seat, being serene and all. When we stopped infront of my apartment, he switched the engine off, and turned to me, with a really serious look on his face- his trademark look. He leaned closer... closer... and even closer until our lips were just a few centimeters apart.

"L-ludwig...? Y-you're too close..." I hissed under my own breath. My breathing pattern was starting to become uneven. And I was claustrophobic. God, help me here!

"Why? Don't you like it when I'm being _this_ close with you? You are my boyfriend, right?" he said, his tone somewhat seductive.

"So? What's the connection?" I reprimanded.

"So I can kiss you, right?" he said teasingly.

"What-"

Without any warning, Ludwig closed the gap between our lips. I'll be honest, I was taken in by surprise there. I let out a small gasp, and once our lips were apart, my breathing somewhat became normal again. His kiss was hard, and his lips... they were insistent. Whoever said kissing someone was nice really is a dummkopf. This isn't fun at all, verdammt!

"Wow," he said as soon as he regained his breath. "You're a terrible kisser."

Inside of me was half angry and the other half... I have no idea at all. Most likely violated, though. I closed my eyes and thought on how to explain to him _why_ I was a terrible kisser. "I-it was my first kiss, you dummkopf." I said, adjusting mt glasses as my cheeks flushed different shades of red.

"Figures," he muttered. He switched the engine back on, and gestured me to the door. I grimaced, and pecked him on the cheek again, this time, he tried to avoid it. Okay, that was mean. Really mean. Gott. I sighed heavily, opened the car door, and got our of his car, walked into the lobby of the apartment. As soon as I got into my room, I slumped on the bed, and just made a small recap on what the hell happened just a few minutes ago.

The following morning, I spend it looking around the entire campus for Ludwig, but he was nowhere to be seen. Gott, where was he when I needed him? I've checked everywhere but the locker room nearby the gym, so I had high hopes I would find him there.

My eyes widened because of the scene that was unfolding infront of me. The moment my feet stepped on to the marble tilings of the locker rooms, I really wanted the floor to swallow me whole.

Yes, Ludwig was there alright, I was relieved. But he was kissing with whom I call, the King of the Bitches here in the World Academy, and the last person who you'll ever want to bump into here in the campus, Lovino Vargas.


	3. Chapter 2

Roderich

"Hey, Ludwig, why'd you stop? Are you teasing me, you potato loving bastard?" Lovino asked when Ludwig finally released his lips. "Sorry, I just remembered something funny." he said.

"Funny? Care to share?" Lovino said.

Even if I was watching them from a distance, I could still see the smirk that was forming on Ludwig's lips. "I kissed Roderich yesterday."

"That prissy music student? He's your boyfriend, right? Then what the fuck is funny about that?"

"It was like kissing…. hmm, what's the right word…. Ah yes, a lamppost." Ludwig said, laughing a little. What the hell!? Ludwig? Laughing? Impossible! "He was so stiff. Also, unresponsive. You, my dear Italian, should've seen his face when I licked his lips. It was as if I'd violated him." he snickered. "He's such a prude; And he's a waste of my time"

"Well, it's also your fault, you know?" Lovino said teasingly. "Out of all the possible sluts here on the campus, you had to choose that little annoying bitch."

Ludwig laughed once more. What the fuck? I'll show that Vargas dude a piece of my mind next time we cross paths, I swear. "Calm down, Lovino. It was just a dare from the other guys! They bet I couldn't make the nerdiest person in school fall for me, and I courted him for like, what, almost a year? He wasn't even worth it." he said.

"You really are a bad boy, Ludwig," Lovino said, seductively. "But I like-no, love-bad boys," he said before pulling Ludwig closer for another kiss. What the hell?! I've been played! And to think I trusted him! I left as quietly as I can, and ran straight back to my apartment. I skipped the rest of my classes and just stayed in my apartment, sitting on my bed. I still can't believe he would do such a thing.

Ludwig was my first boyfriend-well, he had been. I'd trusted him, and believed every word he's said to me. Verdammt! If there was one thing he said that I would have agreed with, I've really been gullible all the while. How can I be that blind? And stupid? How can I be both blind and stupid, not to notice this was a stupid bet all along? Also, I never cared to mind those It people. You know, those in different cliques. I never even want to dare cross paths with them. They all just talk about useless bullshit and all those other stuff instead of actually passing their academics. I can tell they are to be useless people sometime in the future, if that's ever going to help. How the hell was I supposed to have allowed that jerk to sweep me off my feet and forget my true self?

Verdammt.

My cheeks were damp. What the hell? Was I actually crying? Crying over that useless, jerk? I don't even think he's worth all my tears.I don't even think he was worth loving. Mein gott. Maybe I was happy, for some time. Maybe it was because someone actually looked beyond my prissy personality. And add nerdy to that, too. This is not good, I tell you. I brought my knees closer to my chest, and I was curled up in a ball.

Or was I crying for myself? I had no idea by this point in time. I've been played by the popular boy at the academy. How was I supposed to forgive myself? How?

Prude. Annoying bitch. Lamp post.

Just because I didn't react properly doesn't mean I get the authority to claim these titles. Nor do they have the authority to judge me like that. Asshats.

I decided to go to the coffee shop to relieve my stress. Coffee always soothes my nerves down. Adjusting my glasses, and slicking my hair back, I headed my way to the coffee shop. Along the way, there was a crowd of people blocking the way in front of the main avenue, and the coffee shop as well. Making my way across the massive crowds of people, I found myself falling bottoms-first onto the ground. The next thing I knew was that there were three guys towering over me. They were all good-looking, but I knew they weren't to be trusted. Ever. One of them looked apologetic, the next one, smirking, and the other one looked as if he didn't care about anything at all.

"Watch it, you dummkopf!" I snapped at the three men, my temper getting the better of me. The first guy, who had light brown hair, helped me up. "Sorry, we're trying to run away from somebody."

"Hey, if you're being chased for a crime or something like that, the best thing is to not get me involved into that shit, okay?" I said. One of his friends, a blonde, scoffed at my words. "Hey, Gilbert, he said sorry already, you know."

"As if sorry is going to help make up for my broken pelvis!" I snapped at them.

"Hey! I think you're exaggerating way too much," the guy who helped me, protested. "So what? Do you want to start a fight here?" I knew I just let my words slip out my mouth, and that was just what I needed. I couldn't help it, really. I was going through a heartbreak right now. "You want a fight? I'll give you a fucking fight!" I snapped.

"Chillax, dude!" the third guy, and Albino, whose name appears to be Gilbert, and who looked as if he didn't give a fuck at all to the entire world, said. "Hmm, just think of this as if fate is pushing us together, m'kay?"

"What kind of shit are-" My rant was interrupted by a smack on the lips.

"I think that made up for our offense, right boys?" Gilbert said, winking towards his other two companions. They then walked away, and now I realized that the crowd was slowly beginning to be less and less. I just stood there, in the middle of the road, gaping after them.

What the fuck just happened?


	4. Chapter 3

Roderich

What the hell was that kiss for?

Kiss thief! Rapist! Pervert!

I've been violated. Again! What is it with people stealing kisses from me? Or is it people stealing my kisses. Would it even hurt for them to at least hear my consent first before stealing my kisses? Argh! Either way, they're violating me! I know I'm a nerd, but it doesn't mean you have to treat me like this!

What crappy luck I have here. I knew the luck I had wouldn't last until the end of the day. Damn, I really need my coffee to calm my nerves down now. And of course it would also be just my luck as well that people were staring at me as if I was some kind of one-man freak show. I started to walk away from the crowd, an towards the coffee shop but I suddenly saw something that caught my eye that was lying on the ground. I looked closer, and it appears to be a business card. I was about to throw it away until what was written-rather, printed-on the business card caught my eye.

_Bad Touch, Inc._

_Got zero experience in kissing?_

_Or anything that falls under the topic of love for that matter?_

_Call us now! We GUARANTEE_

_You'll be a damn good kisser and lover that_

_you'll always leave people wanting for more._

What the… hell? People actually believe in this crap? Who on earth would even bother hiring an instructor who's gonna teach you to be… ugh, this is such useless crap. It's such a waste of both time and money. Sheesh.

I tucked the card into my pocket, since there weren't any trash bins around, and proceeded to the coffee shop. I got my usual order, but this time, to-go. As soon as I got my coffee, I headed back to my apartment, and drowned myself in misery,and coffee. But once I felt like I wasn't miserable any longer, I logged in to my Facebook account.

I couldn't even believe the later post that was on my News Feed and Notifications:

Ludwig Beilschmidt is in a relationship with Lovino Vargas

What the actual fuck? They hadn't wasted any time at all, had they? Asshats.

What did I do wrong to make my life like this?

I figured it would be any better to just crawl into a hole and die. And I don't even think anyone would care.

I didn't do any better the following day. The moment I stepped on to the campus grounds, everyone stopped what they were doing and just stared at me. Every movement I did, they were still watching me. A few of the students exchanged awkward glances with each other, and when I followed all their stares, which finally wasn't at me, I saw the banes of my existence.

Feeling the anger rise up within me, I marched up to my son of a bitch boyfriend-oh, I'm sorry. I meant, ex-boyfriend-and started to give him a piece of my mind.

"Ludwig, you asshat! What is this?"

Lovino stepped in front of Ludwig, as if protecting the very special possession he had. "For your information, you rotten tomato-"

"Shut up, dummkopt! I'm not talking to you." I snapped at Lovino.

"Watch it, Roderich!" Ludwig warned. "He's my boyfriend now."

"And what about me?" I challenged him. "Are you fucking done with me now?"

"Of course." was his simple reply. "I didn't really like you, anyway. I'm done putting up with you and your prudishness, Roderich." Alright, that hurt. AGAIN. I'd known I was in for a crappy confrontation with this asshat and his slutty boyfriend, but I never expected him to say it to me straight in the face with a lot of students watching.

"I guess you can talk to me now, then, you potato loving bastard?" Lovino drawled in his contrived "bedroom voice."

"For you, and for everyone's information-" Lovino paused and raised his voice so all the people in the hall could hear "-I would like to announce the reason why Ludwig dumped the nerd."

The other bastards in the hall were actually cheering. And most of them were the bullies. Lovino smirked.

"This top student may be smart, but he's such a prude and a lousy kisser." He looked at me again, and smirked once more. "Eh? Why the hell are you crying? Didn't you like the entire school to know that you're so cold, you can't even make your own boyfriend happy?"

What the hell? Was I actually cryi- Yes. I was. Fuck this. The only thing I knew was that my voice got stuck somewhere in my throat, and when I tried to speak up, my voice was small. My chest was tight, as if all the air had been sucked out. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't talk either. I was standing there, and people all around me were just jeering at me. I couldn't even defend myself from the humiliation.

"What a crybaby." Lovino taunted. As if. _He was the real crybaby_. He would pretty much cry at every little bad thing that would happen to him. "What a pathetic loser you are, Roderich. I'll give you a piece of advice. Since you spend all your time studying and reading useless books, why don't you try looking up some kissing techniques? Who knows? Someone might actually be stupid enough to hook up with you in the future. Probably a fellow nerd."

Everyone laughed, and cheered on for Lovino. And could you guess who was laughing the loudest? Ludwig Fucking Beilschmidt.

I couldn't take this anymore, so I ran away.

_Just you wait, Lovino. I'may be crying now, but once I nursed my bruised ego and heart, I'll make sure you're gonna pay. Big time. I swear that on my dearest piano._

They were both gonna pay. Big time.


	5. Chapter 4

Roderich

A few hours later, after being humiliated in public by the King of the Bitches, Lovino, I was at a club, probably looking like a fish that had just jumped out of its bowl. The moment I had stepped in to the dark, noisy place that caters to a lot of touchy-feely tipsy people, I almost regretted my decision. How on earth did people find their way around this place? And why was I even here in the first place?

"Ahhh," I moaned, after gulping down the glass of beer the bartender just handed me. In the moment of extreme coercion, I could recall in the movies that Elizaveta would let me watch wherein the heartbroken protagonists went to bars and clubs to drown out their sorrows. Earlier, I had been thinking that I was the victimized protagonist of my own heartbreaking story, so why on earth not?

Like in the movie, they drank to forget, and drank I did. Beer wouldn't always get me _that_ drunk or sober, so I decided to kick it up a notch tonight. I just really needed a little forgiveness tonight.

I'd forget about Ludwig and remember the time when I'd just been Roderich. The nerdy, prissy, and musical, Roderich.

I called for the bartender and asked for their strongest drink. "Are you sure?" the bartender asked. He inspected me head-to-toe. Then threw me a suspicious look. Well, he looked older than my age, so what's wrong to order the strongest drink they serve here?

"I can pay for it," I snapped at the bartender, adjusting my silver-rimmed glasses.

"It's not that, sir-"

"Then get the fuck to it," I said, interrupting whatever he was going to protest next. One last snarl from me had him whipping up my drink a few moments later. Why? Just because I looked like a nerd doesn't mean I can't drink what I want. Even if I wanted to drink, for that matter. He came back to the end of my bar a few minutes later, with a small shot glass containing a transparent-looking liquor. Was this vodka or something? Or was is margarita? Who the hell cares anymore? I looked up to see the bartender with a worried look on his face. Wait a minute. He kinda looked familiar. I squinted my eyes little, but to my dismay, the smoke from the club has already fogged my glasses up. I shrugged, and decided to just drink whatever was there in the shot glass.

"It's tequila," he said as he handed me a plate with a pinch of salt and a lemon slice on it. Wait, why is the glass small? Was it_ that_ strong for people to handle? What the hell was I supposed to do with the salt? And the lemon slice, why the hell is it even there in the first place? I raised an eyebrow at the bartender, silently asking him what the heck I do with all these. But he misinterpreted my look, and instead explained, "It's the strongest one we have here, Sir."

"Good," I said, grabbing the shot glass and gulping all of the contents in one go.

Holy mother of-What the fuck!? It's scorching my throat! It fucking burns!

"You're supposed to put salt on the edge of the glass, drink the tequila, and then suck on the lemon," the bartender explained, his eyes gleaming with laughter. How dare he laugh at me! I only know how to drink vodka and beer! "H-how the hell was I supposed to know?" I snapped at him, my voice cracking because my throat was still on fire. "It was my first time!"

"I could clearly see that, mi amigo." he said with a small smile on his face. I growled at him and sent him away to get me more. He came back with an entire bottle of it, which I drowned myself in the next few hours. I had a new best friend, and its name was Tequila. Well, next to Elizaveta, of course.

Many shots later, I was trying to answer the questions that life has thrown at me: Why had the guy-I mean, the bartender-grown three heads? Why was the club spinning? Why were colours swirling everywhere? Why the heck was algebra skiing me to look for it's X? I didn't even want my own ex! What does life even mean to me anymore?

"Sir," the three-headed bartender said after I downed another shot of Tequila. "You're very drunk."

"Well, if I'm drunk, then you're three." I said.

"I think you should stop," he said, taking the shot glass and the bottle of Tequila away from me. No! Don't you dare take away my best friend from me!

"Verdammt!" i screamed. "I can pay! Just because I look like a nerdy person doesn't mean I'm not allowed to get thrashed around! I can fucking pay for this! I can even buy you! I can buy all the fucking men on this planet, and all the asshats like Ludwig will be condemned to an eternity of slavery! Bwahaha! All those stupid asshat males who play with other people's hearts aren't even worth any shit."

"Ludwig?" one of the heads asked.

"My asshat ex. I've been played, as you can see." I explained, seriousness very noticeable in my voice.

"Why'd you break up with him?" another head asked.

"I don't wanna tell you." I pouted. "You'd be laughing even more at me."

"I won't I promise, cross my heart, hope to die." the third head replied.

"Blah, blah, blah," I mocked him. "All of your promises are worth so much shit. That's what all of you are good at. Promises. All you're after are what? A few kisses. Maybe even some make-out sessions. Sex. And when the girl you're into isn't good enough, you dump her. Why are all of you such perverts?"

All the three heads laughed. "Don't tell me you were dumped because you were a terrible kisser,"

"See! You knew! That means you all have the same standards! Fuck you all!"

"Well, mi amigo, not all men are like that. You just happened to get the short end of the stick this time,"

"Stick schmick."

He laughed once more, and pulled something out of his pocket. "Here, maybe this will help you with your problems." It took me three attempts to take whatever he was holding out to me because I didn't know which hand-or arm for that matter-was holding it. It was another business card. It suddenly reminded me of the pervert who stole a kiss from me earlier this afternoon. Damn him! Now what was this card? It's too fucking dark to read it. Everything was even blurry. Stupid vision, I think my eyes need to be corrected. Had this business card been written in another language or something?

"What the heck is this?" I asked.

"Just call if you need our services, mi amigo."

Dope. Was he from some phony counseling company? Well, he'd been a good listener after all, yet he was a little weird. If everything only hadn't gone a turn for the worst, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. Also, if only my head wasn't spinning this much, I would be talking to him a bit longer. But fuck my head, it felt so heavy. I closed my eyes a bit, then opened them once more. I couldn't take it anymore. My head hurt so much, and everything was such a blur. I couldn't even make out what the bartender was saying.

Then everything had gotten black.


	6. Chapter 5

Roderich

I woke up the next morning experiencing the mother of all hangovers. Damn that fucking Tequila! Instead of making me forget what had happened the day before, it just added another thing to my list of problems. I couldn't even manage to lift my head.

As if that brand of torture wasn't enough, Elizaveta had decided to come down on me like the personification heaven's wrath.

"What on earth happened to you?" She's probably said that in her normal voice, but hey, there's like a hung over person here.

"Please don't scream at me," I pleaded.

"I'm not screaming, _te buta_!" she said, and this time, it looks like she's raised her voice. I groaned at her assault, but she didn't seem to pay any misery into her head. "That's called a hangover, and that's your punishment for having that bartender wake me up at four in the morning just to pick you up. Since when did you start getting trashed in clubs, anyway?" she asked.

"Since yesterday, apparently," I replied.

"Anyways, how one earth did you find me there?"

She sighed, and then flashed a smirk at me. "Your bartender called. He was hot, Roderich. He saw your phone and saw, _Elizaveta_ in the Favourites tab. He figured I was your best friend or something. You weren't so attractive last night, you know? Did you know how much embarrassment you put the both of us in through last night?"

"N-nein...?" I replied, the hang over still getting the better of me. Although the pain was tolerable, it still hurt like hell. Her grin faded into a scowl. "You were practically begging that bartender to kiss you. You were screaming and crying and yelling about kissing and sex! When I tried to help you up, you threw up on me. I swear, Roddy, if I didn't love you, I would've left you in that bar to choke on your own barf!"

"So you were the one who took me home?"

She rolled her eyes at me, and said, "Duh! And change you sheets because you threw up again."

I thought for a moment, and asked, "So I wasn't raped?"

"What the hell, Roderich?!"

"Well, I was just asking," I said. Hey! It could be possible, you know! I have to admit, what I did last night was probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done in my entire life, right after dating Ludwig Beilschmidt.

"Oh hey," Elizaveta said, seemingly over the entire ordeal. She can change moods as quickly as Mother Nature could herself. "The bartender said this was yours." She handed me a business card. "Bad Touch Trio Inc. Why do you have this kind of card? Have you become _that_ desperate that you—"

"Of course not, you _dummkopt_!" I snapped before she could even say anything more. Looking at the card, I suddenly remembered that I had one that looks exactly like it. I fished the other card out of my pocket, and showed it to Elizaveta. "It's the second time I've seen the exact same card, yet they came from different guys."

"Oh my gosh, Roddy. Spill everything to me!"

This is what I found wrong in Elizaveta. Everything about her was perfect—she was smart, pretty, and even athletic! What more could a person ask for? But the thing everyone, even I found weird about her is that she is obsessed with gay people. Anything that had to do with gay people—just from two boys holding hands, tow boys spending time together, two boys hugging—would make her insane. Like really, really insane. She would get nosebleeds, and even hyperventilate, but the latter was occasional. Her eyes were gleaming with joy that simply came from the gossip I had yet to tell her.

"The first one was when that pervert kissed me at the mall," I replied. Her eyebrows shot right up. "Someone kissed you at the mall and you didn't even bother telling me!? Was the guy handsome? Hot? Cute?"

"Calm down, Elizaveta! Hmm, I wouldn't consider him handsome, but I would consider him as attractive. But still! He's a pervert!"

She tsked at me. "Roddy, let me tell you this. If some ugly guy kissed you, then that would be considered a pervert. But if some handsome attractive guy kissed you, then that would be considered a blessing."

"You're really such a tramp, Elizaveta." I said with a deadpan expression. "And besides, it was only a quick smack on the lips."

"Well, no wonder you've been dumped," she shot back. "Well then who gave you the second card?"

"The bartender last night. I told him about Ludwig and how he dumped me," I explained.

"Ohh~ So Mister Pervert and Mister Bartender, eh? Do you think they're the ones who give the kissing lessons?" she asked.

"Maybe. But what the heck girl, does it look like I care?" I said.

"What do you mean, what the heck do you care?" Elizaveta exclaimed. "Roddy, this is a golden opportunity! Ludwig dumped you because you suck at kissing, _igaz_? No pun intended, because I'm sure you didn't suck." She seemed pleased at her own joke, but I didn't mind, nor did I say anything.

"You really _are_ a prude, Roddy," she complained. "Anyways! I say Destiny herself sent those cards to you. You need those lessons, and to think those guys give the lessons..." she waggled her eyebrows at me and grinned. "You hit the jackpot!" she said.

I'll have to admit, she did make sense. A lot of sense. "I'll call, only if I receive another card. Then we'll see if my Destiny is really at play."

"That's a hard call, Roddy," she complained, a hand to her waist, and yet I stood my ground, and she could probably see the resolve on my face because she gave up and changed the subject. "You know what? Whatever. I'll just cook you up some Baumkuchen to get your head out of all that's happened the past few days. And we can have tea afterwards, if that's fine with you." She said, brushing stray hair away from her face, and then putting them back in place with her pink flower hairpins.

"Hmm, alright then. But do you have any painkillers? My head hurts like hell." I asked.

"Alright, I'll get them for you." Elizaveta said, to retrieve the said medicine, and returned a few minutes later with them and a glass of water in hand. I took the painkillers, and Elizaveta took off to the grocery to get the ingredients needed to make the Baumkuchen. Oh well, I'll just rest here until my headache will go away. Until then, my revenge will have to wait.


	7. Chapter 6

Roderich

Later that same day, as soon as my headache has long subsided, Elizaveta and I ate the Baumkuchen she had just made. It wasn't that sweet, nor did it just taste that plain. That's just how I like it. As we ate, she started to talk about the two popular snakes in our school, yet I cut her off.

"Whatever you're planning to say, forget it," I said. "I'm not even interested."

"You're so bitter, Roddy!" she remarked. "Keep up with that attitude, and they'll keep on calling you a loser."

"So what? I _am_ a loser, anyway," I said.

"You know what, we'll really have to stop with this pity party of yours!" she scolded. "You're not a loser! You're smart, funny, and handsome! You could use a makeover, but yes! You're definitely handsome!" she said. "Hmm, if you were to have a makeover," she said, then started looking at me as if I was a specimen underneath a microscope. "We'll definitely have to start with these glasses of yours. You have stunning eyes, yet I don't know why you insist on hiding them behind these frames!" she said, snatching my glasses. "But without my glasses, I will look so plain, Elizaveta. I swear, I wouldn't want to look like some other person on the campus," I said. Her shoulders slumped. "Oh well, if you still insist on wearing glasses, then we'll have to get you some new frames," she said, playing with the glasses for a bit, and then giving the said pair of glasses back to me. I slipped them back on, and said, "Alright, so what else do you want me to do, _your highness_?"

She smirked. "Allow me to do your makeover, Roddy. I ensure you that you'll look really stunning, and more attractive!" She pleaded. Well, who was I to say no to Elizaveta? She was my only best friend, aside from Feliciano, of course. And everything she seems to promise, well, she would always keep it. So I knew at this point in time, I had to say yes.

She yelped, and commanded me to change. "Why on earth would you want me to change for?" I asked. "Operation: Make-Roddy-So-Beautiful-That-Ludwig-Will-Cry is now commencing!"

"Wow, why such a long name?" I laughed. "Oh hush, Roddy! Now, off we go!" She clapped her hands together just like a teacher, and pushed me towards the bathroom. I gave her one last glance, and she raised her eyebrow at me. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get moving!" she reprimanded.

With a sigh, I went into the bathroom to do her bidding. Elizaveta was pretty much unstoppable as soon as someone agrees to do what she wants, or at least when she's got her mind set on something.

I just prayed to God that I wouldn't be regretting any of this.

* * *

A few swipes of my credit card, thousands of Euros, and four armfuls of shopping bags later, Elizaveta started to drag me to the salon. _Gott_, she was relentless! I assure you, I have never bought so many polos, vests, slacks, jeans, and shoes in my entire life! She had something for everything. I'd drawn the line after buying a purple vest and white polo that she said would suit me so much and it makes me look 100 more times attractive. "You have such a thin waist. Your legs are long, plus you're tall. Your body is to die for, Roddy!" she said. "You're almost perfect, every girl's dream boy, you bitch." She teased.

"Quit flattering me," I replied, trying fight the blush that's crawling up my face. "Meh," She waved me off. "You _are_ handsome, Roderich. Don't make those jerks think otherwise. The entire school will roll over at your feet once they see the new you."

When we arrived at the salon, Kiku, another one of Elizaveta's friends, had called her. Whatever he had said her almost panting with excitement. "I have to go!" she said.

"What? We're not even done yet!" I shouted at her. "Yes, we are, Roderich! Just tell the stylist to do whatever will make you look fantastic," she shouted back at me. "When your Mr. Bartender called this morning, you interrupted my quality time with my club! He called because we have an emergency club meeting!"

"You're just going to faint of nosebleeds, anyway." I protested. "But at least I got to witness something phenomenal!" she replied gravely, before heading back towards me. "You should join us sometime," she said. "Ugh, never mind." I shrugged. "Just go ahead and leave me here under the mercy of the hair stylists, please." I said.

"Don't be dramatic, you prissy aristocrat." Elizaveta teased. She rolled her eyes at me, and before I knew it, we were already in front of the salon. She gave instructions to the hair stylist before she careened off to nowhere.

It turns out that she'd requested that they would be making my hair slightly longer and a little wavier. Well, I couldn't complain with that. It's Elizaveta's orders, after all. It would take around 3 hours until my hair would be done, so I sat on the seat, twiddling with my thumbs like a retard with nothing to do and no one to talk to, except for some guy who was sleeping in a reclined chair next to where I was sitting. He's covered his face with a magazine, probably for a little privacy.

Well, at least he's seemed to be sleeping, or so I thought. Then, I've suddenly thought of this outrageous idea of spilling my heart and soul out to him, because why on earth not? He was sleeping after all. I've done more stupid things.

"Hey," I called out. "Are you asleep?"

No word, nor movement. That would be a go signal for me.

"You see, it's like this. I've had this boyfriend who pursued me for almost a year. Around twenty days after we've become official, he went behind my back and made out with the school's most popular bitch. I've even caught them in the act. They were laughing at me and even called me horrible names such as 'prude' just because I was a terrible kisser. After that, they publicly humiliated me and told the whole school about my ignorance, or so to speak. Who does that shit, right? But anyway, my best friend told me to make him regret ever dumping me by showing him that I could be hot and handsome as well. I must be stupid, talking to myself now. Or not? I don't—"

Then the guy just suddenly stood up, startling me. He stared down at me and said, "No matter how much you doll yourself up, he won't take you back if you don't know how to kiss. You'd be better off living your life as an old maid.

With that, he dropped something on my lap and left. And damned if Destiny wasn't really pulling the strings, because I'd gotten my sign.

The third card.


End file.
